Not to say life isn't fun. For the most part it is. Or at least as much fun as you make it. But let's face it, life's complicated. It's full of ups and downs, peaks and valleys. You're rolling along and things are good. Suddenly it changes, Life's not always easy.
It's full of conflict. How we react to it is what's important. Me - I have my faith. With God all things are possible. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Phillipians 4:13
Sometimes I forget.. But I know deep down - ....All things work together for good.... Romans 8:28.
Okay, I didn't mean for this post to sound preachy. Back to how time flies. Seems like just yesterday I was putting up the tree and suddenly it's a year later and time to put it up again,
So much has changed this season. For starters, I didn't put up my big tree. There are several reasons.
Since he has COPD, I knew he couldn't do it, and I just didn't have it in me to do it. It would have been a struggle, but I would have managed. Of course then I would have to bring it back after Christmas. I didn't relish the thought.
I could have asked one of my sons, but they have their own things to do. I didn't want to bother them. Besides that, I'm not a patient person. When I want something done, I want it done now. I hate waiting for things or someone. LOL
Usually I put my tree up right before Thanksgiving because the kids all came to our house either for dinner or later for dessert, and we do Christmas at someone else's house. Hence, if I wanted everyone to see my tree (not sure why that's important) I put it up before.
Another thing that changed this year, my youngest son hosted Thanksgiving. That was fine, I didn't mind.
Of course I made my own turkey the day after just so I could have leftovers, and I really did miss cooking. It's the first time in probably 30 years that I've not made Thanksgiving dinner.
Anyway, back to the tree. I sat here and thought about it for a long time. I finally told my husband we were going with a little tree this year. I really wasn't keen on it, but it beat the alternatives. One of the stores had a 3 ft tree on sale, so off I went to purchase it. I came home, opened the box, and set it up on the table in front of the window. I wasn't all that crazy about it, but it was inexpensive and would serve the purpose.
Of course, I had to haul down the boxes, no easy feat, but hubby grabbed them about half way down so I didn't have to do a lot of running up and down. I didn't bring everything down. It was just too much and my heart wasn't in it.
I put 2 strings of lights on the tree - one white, one colored. I love the combination. I had several boxes of smaller ornaments - remnants of my pencil tree days (that only lasted a couple years. Give me a big tree any day.) Of course that meant my star didn't fit on this small tree, so it remained without a topper. No problem, I knew I'd pick one up eventually.
A week later, I found the perfect star at the dollar store. It was actually an ornament, but the perfect size for the smaller tree. I wired it on and pulled a couple white lights behind it to shine through.
And then I lit the tree.
I stared at it, unbelieving. The bottom half of the tree looked great. White and colored lights sparkled. However, the whole top of the tree remained dark. Neither white nor colored lights were lit. Okay, if it was just white lights I could understand it. I'd pulled on them a bit and maybe loosened a bulb. Of course, I searched for a loose bulb and couldn't find it. Besides it made no sense at all that the colored lights weren't lit.
Thoroughly disheartened, I wanted to throw the whole thing out the window. I wasn't thrilled with it to begin with. I really wanted to cry. Silly, I know, after all it was just a tree, and there was an easy solution, get new lights. Right?
Not so easy. In order to string new lights, I had to take all the ornaments off (not that there were many, after all it was a small tree) then remove the lights, then restring new lights - which I'd either have to dig through all the boxes upstairs or buy new.
You'd have to see my stairway to know how difficult going upstairs is. It's just an attic for storage and I seldom go up there. Lacking storage in the kitchen, I use the steps as shelves for potatoes, onions, paper towels, crock pot, dog food, etc. Yeah, about six steps are full of stuff.
So, I sat and stared at the tree, debating about what to do. I got up and played with it a few times, wiggling the lights, hoping they'd work. No such luck.
Finally, I opened my laptop, put Home Depot and then Lowes in the search engine and found 4 1/2 ft pre-lit trees. They happened to be on sale at Lowes. Perfect solution! Still not my big tree, but I wouldn't have to move any furniture and I wouldn't have to fool with this tree. Like I said I wasn't overly thrilled with it. Since hubby didn't want to take me, off I went by myself.
Of course, when I looked at the trees all I could find were the big ones and had to ask at the service desk. A nice man took me right to them - on a shelf that I couldn't reach. I picked up a string of colored lights since it already had the white lights and headed home.
It didn't take long to move the little tree (decorations and all) and set this one up. I added the string of colored lights, took the ornaments off the little tree, and decorated the new tree. I was going to add more ornaments, but after I sat back and looked at it, I decided it looked fine. Hubby agreed, of course he agrees with most things.
I felt much better with the new tree and my mood lightened.
I know Christmas isn't about the tree or the gifts, but for some reason the tree really bothered me. Maybe it's the fact I'm getting older and can't do as much as I used to. I even cancelled our traditional Christmas Eve dinner that I make the week before Christmas (everyone can't get together on Christmas Eve and there's too much going on that day anyway).
After almost falling down the basement steps, and there would be so much running up and down just getting the room ready for everyone, I decided not to risk it. The basement was a mess and needed a good cleaning before I even set up the tables. Plus, I'd have to borrow chairs again. It was just too much.
It saddens me to have so many changes this holiday season, from not having Thanksgiving dinner to not having our traditional meal. Last year, I had Thanksgiving, the traditional dinner, and Christmas Day. It's probably the last time I'll be doing any of it.
I'm not really ready to give it up. At least not mentally and that really affected me. I didn't even decorate the whole house, my heart wasn't in it. But I feel better now with the newer tree. God's given me the peace to deal with it. I'll celebrate the real meaning of Christmas - the birth of Christ.
Wishing every blessed and Merry Christmas - Happy Holidays (whatever you celebrate) and God's richest blessing to all, or as Tiny Tim said, "God bless us, everyone!"
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